I pray this important message meets you in good condition of health, may blessings of The Force be upon you and your family and grant you the wisdom to understand my situation and how much I really need your assistance.
Before I start let me introduce myself. My name is Princess Leia Organa, Teen Senator to the Galactic Republic and daughter of the late and former head of state of Alderaan, Senator Bail Organa. Since the (strange and unfortunate) death of my father (may The Force's mercy be upon him), the government has turned against my family.
At first I thought it was a only a vendetta from my father's enemies but I was wrong. They arrested me, imprisoned me upon their dreaded Death Star Battle Station and have destroyed my home world of Alderaan in an attempt to get me to give up the location of our hidden rebel base. None have proven successful so far.
My family is going through hardship and I remain under arrest. The newly empowered Governors of the Imperial Territories will soon begin a reign of terror the Galaxy has never seen. Emperor Palpatine has seized more than $660 million credits from Hutt banks already, and they are still seizing a lot of planets. All that is remaining now is $55.8 Million credits, and this money has been kept in a place I cannot disclose to you now, until we make personal contact. I cannot touch this money in the Death Star, for you know I am under arrest and I am being seriously watched by the Storm Troopers.
So after thinking seriously, I have decided that I should send the money to you and ask you for help, because you're my only hope. Since you will be the one collecting the packageon your planet, the money will be shared in three ways, i.e. 20% will be used to invest in your planet or company and 20% will be for you, while 60% will be for us. We also hope you can be trusted and you won't disappoint us. Also confidentiality is extremely important. Once the funds arrive on your planet I will require you to send me Jedi rescue party to free me and and collect my share, fight the intergalactic conflict and free the galaxy from tyrannical oppression.
This is not a deal or business, it is a cry for help. May The Force guide you. When you reply please leave your contact details, my personal assistant and friend Obi Wan Kenobi, he will speak to you and will relate all your messages to me. Please note: You are not expected to pay any upfront money all expenses will be paid by me. If I dare ask you for any upfront payment stop communicating with me. And for your information this money is death stick free and 100% risk free. Time is against us, so your urgent response is needed. Above, you will see my direct Fax, Telephone number and E-mail address, you can call or send me a fax message.
We are responding to confirm the receipt of $55.8 Million Imperial credits which have been placed on account. Since the Imperial purge of the rebellious fanatics posing as protectors of the Galaxy, there are no Jedi to be found. Also, aiding and abetting the escape of enemies of the state is beyond the mission statement of the company.
Furthermore it is within our fiscal interests to pursue enterprises which bring us further profit. So we have invested your share and our share of the credits in Sienar Fleet Systems, whose TIE fighter is the up and coming weapon of choice for the new era. It has totally eroded the remaining market share once held by Incom Corporation whose X-Wing snub fighter design is no match for the new Imperial Battle stations.
We are currently conducting a committee review of whether "remains incarcerated", "terminated", or "whereabouts unknown" would read better on our quarterly report to the Imperial Exchange Commission.
Nothing personal, it is all business. We look forward to reviewing your account should you somehow escape the clutches of the Sith and free yourself from Death Star battle station.
Sincerely,
Ugnaught & Ugnaught
Solicitors and Financiers by Imperial Appointment
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